psycho-sis

i went home to visit chicago, as i mentioned in my last post, to find my grandmother without her mind. she's lost it. her mind. and just it in general. she talks to and about people and things that we cannot see. i try not to say that they "don't exist" because they do exist....somewhere. be it in her head or in another dimension...wherever roger, her filipino next-door-neighbor is, it's not that he doesn't exist, it's just that we "normal" folks can't see him. or the neighbors across the street. or "the system" that tells her what to do that travels in the air, in the wind, without electricity (so we'll actually be saving money!) she says she's won $1,075,726 in the sweepstakes that she keeps getting in the mail. she also thinks she's being poisoned so that they can get her money.

psychosis, is what the doctor called it. but she's not in pain, just scared. they put her on some medication, but i don't trust medicine. maybe that's cliche? but messing with your brain's chemicals doesn't really seem like the greatest of ideas. at least roger is a nice guy. but they did tell her to hide in the closet for an hour...and she did. supposedly. in the the hospital. where the nurses were "paid" to poison her and she was rooming with a black alzheimers woman from amarillo, texas. lily. i spent quite a bit of time in the hospital, which is always depressing. the lights are horrible, that fluorescent buzzing and the horrible pastel colors of everything, its just so ugly.

thats enough for now, i've been talking about it so much it's hard to remember what i've told everyone. either way, she's lost control! or she's just enjoying her ripe old age of 88? i'm not sure.

this is what you get when you google psychosis: